Today is the first day I have actually stuck to not communicating with her in any way shape or form for weeks.
That is great, Steve! Baby steps... you did it. Now how can you stick with it?
You're in the hardest place right now. It svcks. But every day you stay NC is a day you are a little healthier, a step closer towards being free from her dysfunctional web.
Can you make a list of ten things you'll do if you get a text or call from her to prevent yourself from responding? Call a friend, watch a show, play the crossword, snuggle your kids if you have them? Can you mute her texts and calls when she doesn't have the children, so she doesn't knock you off balance by texting when you're doing OK?
She'll keep texting you, you know. It will escalate as soon as you stop responding. You'll get more heart emojis and "I'm not sures" and all the rest. You have to figure out how you can stay strong in the face of this. Are there friends IRL that can help you right now? Can you get an appointment with an IC?
You can do this. You're right, you don't want your children to see you like this. Be strong for them if you can't do it for yourself alone. One day at a time.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
