My dad said no to thanksgiving. I am heartbroken inside. I was reading your thread and I know people find it selfish to miss one thanksgiving with their family and we shouldn’t risk anyone’s health. But for me, it is kind of a big deal because for my daughters whole life, I only got half of the thanksgivings. And I have to give her up for me not to have one. I don’t get to spend it at home with my immediately family. It’s just me. I was looking forward to having Kane family around and enjoying the day. I’m already in an awful depressive hole and I feel like this just put me at the bottom. It feels so cruel. And to know I am here alone and they get to be one big happy family gathering on thanksgiving twists the knife even more. I of course don’t want to put anyone at risk. But I wish I would have gotten it and gotten it over with since it’s pretty much messed everything up .
In 14 years of being alone alone, I don’t think I have ever felt it as much as I do now. I know it’s been a lonely year for everyone, but when you have had so many lonely years before, this one just kind of highlights how alone you really are.
Needless to say, I’m not going to my ex’s he understood. And no matter how low I get, I will never be vulnerable enough for him to make any sort of move on me ever. It’s not his desire anyways. It’s just that having his ex wife in his good graces is the icing on the cake of his life. He gets to have it all. No resistance from anywhere. He’s happy enough with that.
