WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

The preliminary conference was yesterday afternoon. Judge, both Ls, and I were on the virtual call; W was not. Normally the parties are required to attend but they've adjusted the rules due to COVID. It was mostly logistical items. Still, I'm glad I was there because it gave me a sense for the process, the judge, and W's attorney. There were also a few issues my W raised through her lawyer in a pre-conference letter, which I had already addressed, and being there could speak to it (my L said those letters are rare and it seemed like silly issues to raise), so perhaps I came across as the more reasonable party. Judge made it clear he prefers W & I settle most of the details (E.g., holiday schedule) and wouldn't be thrilled to rule on those type of matters - 99% of cases do not go to trial. W had not yet submitted her required financial documents, even though technically they were due 10 days before the conference, so we're waiting on that, any discovery requests, and her (as the plaintiff) to make the first offer in negotiations.

Time keeps passing by. It's now 9.5 months since BD and 4.5 months since W filed for D without any signs of hesitation on her part. I still have moments of attachment (when I see her at drop off, or hear something about OM2) I need to work on but honestly think if not for the kids I'd be completely over it at this point, considering her lies and deceit this year. I know I'll be fine personally, financially, relationship-wise in the long run but still wish the kids didn't have to deal with the disruption and could grow up a loving, two-parent household.