So I'm painfully shy. Have been my entire life. High school boys though it was cute to come up and talk to me to see who could get me to blush first. I'm very much an introvert. I'm completely happy alone. I have no issues going to dinner, movies or traveling across the country alone. I'm good at it.
That being said I very much enjoy a partner in crime.
15yr ago I was dating a guy I went to high school with. I was quiet with him too but still we would talk on the phone for hours, text endlessly because we had history having gone to school together. We would go out as a foursome with his friends and they would dominate the conversation because they all knew each other. Of course if I was asked something directly I would always answer... but being an introvert I spend a lot of time listening and observing. So this guy would comment that I never would speak to his friends... I think he felt I did not like his friends - I did. I just need a lot more time to get to know people and feel comfortable.
Obviously my male and female bff's I've know for 40yrs so of course I'm talking all the time with them.
I've been with my H for over a decade... not an issue there but I will admit that a chunk of our issues were communication and I'm owning my side of the street for that. But, overall I don't think it was an issue with my H.
Fast forward to the guy I've been going out with. He says I don't talk to him. Now again, I'm more reserved and I felt I participated in our conversations but he talks A LOT... so I just let him talk. So once he pointed that out I do try to make more of an effort to speak. I did state that I am an introvert and I spend a great deal of time just listening and observing. I think that's why I drink more when dating - it lowers the issue for me and I tend to be more chatty.
The guy commented that I tend to communicative via texting... hmmm. My male bff pointed me to a book for me to read that in general introverts tend to do better with digital medium... interesting. But, I'm starting to think this is true.
So I already knew that this guy is dealing with some stress so I chose to break the ice last night and tease him... asked if he missed me. He replied yes.. he was pretty stressed today... sorry.
I asked what his drama was and he replied basically... his job (its his busy time of the year), his dog (very old dog with old dog health issues ) and I do not talk to him.
UGH... I really thought the last 2 times we've gone out I've been more talkative and sharing with him. But, he disagrees I guess.
I ended it by texting that I'm not trying to hide behind the fact I'm an introvert. That I really like him and appreciated if he would be patient with me... that I'm trying and I really do get a lot more talkative. That probably screams low value person I suppose. I think most of his issues right now have nothing to do with me. I'm not going to chase this guy. He clearly did not reply to this text.
Clearly I've got to work on this introvert issue I have
I think he felt I did not like his friends - I did. I just need a lot more time to get to know people and feel comfortable.