I wanted to encourage you not to send your Rude Dude anything when S2 is with him. I noticed once when I did that that my Rude Dude started firing off similar and very long texts while my D11 was with him, which meant his rage was seeping over their visit and no doubt traumatizing her even if it was just simmering under his surface. And just in general that he spent like an hour of their visit composing these stupid diatribes. So now I leave a window of like two days before her visit and then during her visit where I don't respond to any insanity or inanity.
It will not work to negotiate visitation with a Nuddy Buddy. Surely my experience is a convincing testimony! Why are you corresponding with him or responding to him about that? I blocked mine from e-mail and only use text, and only for arranging timing. If he brings up anything else, I either ignore it or tell him I can't discuss that with him and he will need to bring any issues to court, but when I had a lawyer I referred him to the lawyer. You seem to sometimes be getting tricked into negotiating with a terrorist and then trying to justify yourself based on his delusions, and it is truly pointless and will only reduce your life span.
If you want to say anything, I would just say, "I really don't want to weaponize S2, and I know we both love him very much. Let's move the discussion to the lawyers and just stick to the schedule til we figure out any changes. Have a fun visit!"
That said, maybe you can shift one thing and make him feel like he won and end that morning thing -- could you add to something like the above -- "But since I am working remotely, we definitely could do a later start time for the morning visit so he wouldn't be grumpy and tired when you pick him up."
Last edited by Gerda; 11/22/2005:15 PM.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
