Thanks, bttfly . I’m trying not to stay there too long. It’s just a trigger for me. I actually told my ex as much. He validated my feelings. Something he had never done when we were together. Someone at work who has just gotten to know me told me “nothing ever shakes me “ and I handle even stressful situations on an even keel. Ha! If people only knew what I was feeling inside sometimes. But there is often two parts of me, one that feels so hard, and another that’s kind of outside of my body where I just handle it . Hard to explain.
I wish I would just have normal covid symptoms. Today I have had god awful vertigo to the point I thought I might vomit. I have never had vertigo before. Aside from being an orthopedic nightmare, I am a very very healthy person. I don’t get sick, I dont have weird symptoms of anything and I am generally in good health aside from my aches and pains. I still have no idea what’s in my head or what’s real. What are the odds of me getting a cold which I never ever get at the same time I’m exposed to COVID? I don’t know.
I was talking to a friend today and I realized I haven’t gone on a. Date or even chatted with a guy since July. Who knows when it will be time again. COVID almost feels like it has sealed my fate. I’m going to be single forever.
