The title of my thread comes from the wording inside of a bracelet that was left on my porch. A friend new I was struggling and got me this anonymous gift . And that what I have to do. Keep f%#king going. It’s not easy though. I seem to get pummeled lately.
I became symptomatic with bad body aches and a small cough. It is not much, but it was enough to make me paranoid to go to work. I called in today and let work know. I can deal with the sickness. I can’t deal with exposing others. I had a test scheduled for Monday, but I took D13 and i to a testing center. The doc has to look at you for a min... and they looked in my throat and said I have lots of post nasal drip and that’s probably where my cough is coming from. There are quite a few positives from the shared office space this came from. I was the only exposed person outside of it. We will get our test on Monday and hopefully everything will be fine. And maybe we can still have thanksgiving. It’s been a little scary, but mostly an inconvenience.
On a different front. The ex wanted to talk about vacation dates for the summer. Apparently he is taking D13 away twice, once for 2 weeks and once for 1 week. The two weeks is to Hawaii. I am happy my daughter will get to experience Hawaii. However, I am upset about it. I am upset my daughter will be gone for 2 weeks so freakin far away. Doesn’t sit well. I guess I’m sad I can’t be the one to give her something like that. Then I’m upset that my daughter is going on a trip of a lifetime with THEM. Just the 3 of them. It crushes me and makes me cry every time I think about. Like right now as I’m typing it. Tears. ExH and I went to Hawaii with his family in 2000. That’s my memory of Hawaii. And now I think of the 3 of them . One big happy family in Hawaii. It’s the one thing after 13 years that still sends me reeling inside. I have more than gracious and accepting. But this feels like a knife in my heart.
I have to just keep f%^king going. But it is just getting harder and harder to do so.
Last edited by job; 11/21/2004:54 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
