I am really sorry this is so difficult to you. I hope you are still seeking help with the VA. What you are dealing with I feel will not get better without professional treatment from a trained psychiatrist. To give this women so much power over you is a horrible state to be in right now. You have fought in a war and jumped out of airplanes yet life without this woman is what really terrifies you. I am sorry but I don't think this is ever going to end. For some reason she gets her rocks off playing with your emotions. You are going to sit in perpetual limbo until you decide to put an end to it. I hope that some day you are able to find peace.
