You do realize pressuring her into making a decision will likely lead to something she doesn’t want to do which will completely backfire, right? You must know this.
Yep, this is why ultimatums never work. They fall wholly into the category of pressure and pursuit. And pressure and pursuit 99.99999% of the time do not work. It is as close to a guarantee of pushing your spouse to D faster than they themselves ever intended!
Now, Steve_ your situation is a lot different in that most of us do not believe you should be trying to save your marriage with this terrible, lying, cheating woman. Based on the history here, even if you were to lure, manipulate, DB her back, she would pull this again on you and you'd find yourself right back in the same situation again. This is why the advice here is to run for the hills, do the work on yourself to healthily and happily move forward to a great life.
Steve_, if you read my threads, while there aren't a ton of parallels between my sitch and yours, but one thing I think you could benefit from is my mindset. As I embraced my WAW's desire to get her own place and move out, I started to get excited about my future prospects! Our marriage has been miserable leading up to BD. And while I did want to save my marriage, I was excited at what the future might bring unshackled to a marriage that wasn't working for anyone! I know a lot of LBSs, especially LBHs for some reason, struggle with what this means for their kids, but a bad marriage is bad for both spouses and it is bad for the children too. That is what a lot of LBSs don't see. As my favorite bald Texan TV psychologist likes to say "kids would rather be FROM a broken home than IN a broken home."
These last few responses from people are trying to get you to see that sitting and waiting for her to make a choice, even until Monday, is not in your best interest. Move into your new place, start your new life, and move forward!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
