Steve_'s LRT phase 2

[Steve_]

I won’t. I can’t. That’s why I needed this. I needed the closure. I have to feel I did all in my power before I give up. This changes my life and my kids life. I had to know I did my best. I gave it 3 months of validating, listening, blaming myself etc. this ultimatum probably isn’t smart, probably will get me hurt. But I’m okay with it. Because it will be the closure I need to move on. I would have stayed in limbo for months or even years. I can’t do that. I have to wipe the table off. The choice must be made clearly and finally. That is what I needed. I told her if she doesn’t respond by Monday at 10pm I’m walking away. I meant it. I mean it. That way I can look back and have no shame, no regret. It sounds stupid but I needed to do that. Before I can let go. It won’t go the way I want I know that, I’m ready for that. Just needed to have this after 10 years before I can do the rest. She meant a lot and it needed to take a lot to let go. I see that, and I think once this time passes I can live with myself without blaming myself. I offered the chance of a lifetime to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Wrong or right it makes me feel like I did my best, and that will help me let her go.