Since my final divorce hearing is in less than a month, I thought it was time for a fresh title.
Yesterday's changeover was a bit awkward. X picks up S2 at 6:30am. This plan was designed over a year ago when I had to leave for work at that hour. Now I work from home, and the early morning pickup once a week is kind of a nuisance, but X has stalled on implementing a new agreement which would eliminate this visit.
So yesterday, S2 climbed into my bed around 5:30am. I checked my phone and went back to sleep expecting to be woken at 6:15am by my alarm. Next minute, I woke up naturally and checked the time - 6:45! Argh. One missed call from X but my phone was on silent. I quickly called him and he answered on the first ring. "Hello" he barked. I apologised sincerely and said I'd have S2 out in a minute.
Threw the phone down and roused the little boy, who was not pleased to be woken from his slumber. He grumbled and cried as I forced him into clothes, and as I hustled him towards the front door he started to wail "Please pick me up, I need a cuddle!" So I took a deep breath and took a minute to connect with him before handing him over. X didn't say anything when I apologised again.
S2 told me that OW had breakfast with them that morning, so I've got no idea what's going on there.
Regarding Christmas-- I've drafted an email response along the lines of the suggestions received here. I'm glad my thoughts were aligned with everyone else's. I was planning to send it yesterday morning, as I do most of my other emails in the hour before work when I'm child-free, but didn't want to rock the boat further after the awkward changeover. I'll send it Sunday when S2 is with X.
The only reason I want it finalised quickly is because there's not currently a legally enforceable agreement. Meaning if X decides to withhold S2 again, he can without recourse. I've been trying to get this new agreement enshrined since the weekend he withheld him in August. I pointed out that the increased time can begin immediately and his child support will be reduced immediately, but that hasn't had any effect. Yes, it would have been nice to have had this finalised before things got bumpy with OW. I tried!
Regarding his mother-- he said I promised her that X could have S2 this Christmas. It's simply not true. Given that I expected to have S2 every Christmas up until last week, it's a claim that holds no water. And I find it quite manipulative to invoke family members in a custody discussion because he knows that holds a lot of emotional weight with me. Like messaging my stepdad asking him to tell me to do the right thing. That was distasteful. And now this. Regardless, S2 and I have had Christmas organised for a while now as we have to work around multiple different schedules (yay for blended families!) so it'll be X's turn next year.
I know it seems like this is a high-conflict situation, but he has actually folded quite easily on the majority of negotiations. I state my position, he says his piece, I respond coolly and calmly with either compromise or explanation, he goes silent. After a couple of weeks, I pick up the thread again, he ignores the previous issue, and moves onto the next. So we plod along. The problem is that Christmas is the final issue, which I believe is why he continues to kick the can down the road.
