I think it's cruel that your W says she misses you, that's emotional abuse IMO. It's just a ploy to keep you from moving on, not because she loves you, but because she's a master manipulator.
In her ideal world, she wants to be with OM (or several OM) while you pine away for her. That's not love.
I've been here for years and I don't think I've seen a WW as bad as yours is. 5 affairs? She's trash.
My advice, divorce her and never look back. After you heal, you will find a woman that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Meanwhile, your WW will be hopping from bed to bed, which apparently she's really good at.
