Steve_'s LRT phase 2

[mtb1981]

I don’t plan on her coming back. I feel like that chance is 10% at best. I’m okay with that. But I am not okay with her going forward and having me as an option. I’ve made too many mistakes and allowed it. I have to clear the board. That’s what this is about.

Then why are you giving her a choice to make you an option. It's time for you to walk, Steve. I think the problem is that you are hurting so much right now, that you are willing to take her back at the drop of a hat. You even mentioned in a post above " I’m just tired of this. At this point I could care less what happens, I just want it to be over." You're willing to settle for her and her $hitty behavior just so you can make this all stop...

She is like a tumor that you just had removed and you're dealing with the post op pain. It hurts and right now you 're thinking you would rather still have the tumor than be dealing with the pain. The pain will go away eventually, and you'll be glad that tumor is gone one day.

Your frame of mind on the above quote " I’m just tired of this. At this point I could care less what happens, I just want it to be over." should be Steve is tired of playing these games and is moving on with his life without the baggage and pain his WW has been bringing to the table for the past several years. That Steve doesn't need an ultimatum, because that Steve is strong and know what he wants and what he's worth. That Steve is in charge because she doesn't get an opinion in what happens. That bridge has burned, buddy. I guarantee that if she showed up and cried her eyes out and swore her loyalty to you and said she screwed up, you'd take her back immediately. And that makes me sad...

I totally understand the honor in wanting to keep your family together and being true to your end of the commitment. I've been there. Just eating $hit sandwich after $hit sandwich thinking it was somehow noble and I was doing the right thing. I did a lot of the dumb stuff you're doing thinking and praying it would make a difference. Just have to wait this out and she'll come around. I told myself that everyday. Eventually, it became obvious that the relationship was BEYOND unhealthy and I was too blinded to see it. So I had a choice. Keep eating $hit sandwiches and setting the example for my children it's OK for your spouse to lie, cheat, steal, and be disrespectful or move on to be happy and give my kids a healthy upbringing. I finally chose the latter...