Steve_'s LRT phase 2

[may22]

Steve,

Would it help if you framed it as-- she ALREADY HAS chosen him?

She's moved out. IIRC she's living with another man. She's filed for divorce.

Actions, not words.

You just put her back in the driver's seat and handed her your leash by giving her until Monday. Taking your power back would be making the decision on your own to stop caring about where she is and what she's doing, and actually taking actions to move on and get on with your life.

Look, I totally get it. In my sitch I wasn't able to be the one to pull the trigger on breaking up the family. (Still am not.) Is that where you are?

If that's the case... man, I'm really sorry. But... she's the one who is breaking up your family, not you. She's left you. She's filed for divorce. She's had five affairs. She's gone again. You are not responsible for this. She is. But you're enabling this behavior.

What could she possibly do this time to prove to you it is different, if she did decide Monday to come back? And how long would you be waiting for the other shoe to drop and her to find her next AP? Your kids are already involved, now. Is it best for them to have mom come back and then leave again in six months? And then rinse, repeat?

If I were you, I'd spend the next four days working on your plans for how you will stand strong when you don't get the answer you want. (And, what *is* the answer you want? My guess is she's going to say something just ambiguous enough to keep stringing you along, her surgery, the kids, something along those lines.)

I can’t do this anymore. I am ready to let go and get on with my life.

Great. How can you take these words and make them into actions for yourself?

This is super, super hard. But you can do it.