I understand both sides -- maybe a year ago, I would say my impulse to reach out was very much NGS. In this case, I feel it's really just more about doing the decent thing. I am not angry with her, I'm not trying to hurt her or cause a scene in front of her family. I assume this will invoke a larger discussion whether or not I give her a heads up.
As a poster said before, we generally have an amicable relationship and unlike some situations with exes, I don't believe her to be a bad person or something worth attacking. But I will also say that in most situations in which I've been somewhat ambivalent or whether to do something or not do them, I've ended up doing it and regretting it.
For someone additional context, we have had approximately 0 discussions about D and while that is clearly the most likely outcome of our situation, this move will be extremely surprising to her. It is the right thing for me to do, for myself, right now -- but it will definitely surprise her.
