It's too bad, my STBXW would like the tom 2.0. But she spent the last few years convincing herself I was beyond repair and fell out of love with me. She succumbed to the social messages that Michele decries, that the only way to save oneself is to divorce. Too bad. Her next husband will not have learned DB principles and she will find herself in the same situation.
This is why pressure and pursuit never works in these situations! The things you do at the beginning of getting to know someone never works when the person already knows you so well. So many LBSs struggle with this. "Well, I won them originally by these behaviors........." Those behaviors will not work in these situations because there is too much water under the bridge. What can help is to back off and give them space. Let them miss you. The old "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
Now sometimes there is too much water under that bridge, or there is new water under the bridge (OP), and that means no approach is going to save the MR. But even in those cases the backing off and focusing on yourself is the right approach.
So whether there is hope or no hope of saving the MR, focusing on yourself, backing off and giving them time and space is the right approach!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
