You sound good. You really do. I'm so glad you have a good L that you trust. I also note that you didn't mention once in this post anything that H did or didn't do, and that also seems great, from my end at least. That even though you're dealing with all of this and still living in the same house, he can't knock you off balance anymore.
On compassion vs empathy, I've read a lot about empaths getting burned out. I took a course from the Compassion Institute and found it really helpful and interesting-- you might look into it. They have a number of online courses.
xoxo keep up the good work, C. You're so strong and amazing. M
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
