It sounds like you are receiving some really good advice from your IC. We do sometimes get stuck on the details and miss the bigger picture. Good to get re-focused.
Your house does sound rather full, at capacity and spilling over a bit. Do you have a basement? Can you make another room, or space, for either H or D? A third spare bedroom/office, and get back the living room? Just wondering.
Originally Posted by PLC
He still is very much peeking out of the tunnel and I am trying to not notice.
I agree. H is peeking out of the tunnel.
If I may, you need less “trying” and more “doing”.
Do notice when you mean too. And do not notice when you mean not too. Try is vague and increases the probability of failing. Do, and yes you may fail. Only try, and you are already half way there. Just a little mental assertiveness tip to keep your sword sharp and shield bright.
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I think what bothers me is that D sees his behavior. I want to be a good example to her and show that when the going gets tough, you do not stop trying.
By the way, it’s ok to notice H’s behaviour. He is living right there, it would be near impossible to not see it. The idea is/was to detach. You’re there. So notice, acknowledge, validate (when opportunity arises), and go about your day.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
