Taking next steps

[SteveLW]

Hi everyone, nearly 8 months post bd. I feel emotionally stable, good, kids are good too, be it confused still.

No idea what is happening in H life, i dont ask. Het an occasional txt about kids, but he is very much a seperate entity from us. From some brief remarks, i gather that he is staying at ows parent house, thats all i know.

I need to put it out there, i have joined a dating site! And i realised that im not even remotely interested in that! Maube im not ready, maybe its not how i would like to meet people, maybe i dont want to explain the complexity of
My sitch. It doesnt really matter why, but it feels wrong and unnatural at this stage. The amount of attention from men is ridiculous, but i dont feel like i want to waste my time and energy on talking to 30 to find that i dont find any of them even remotely interesting.

Anyways, deregistering shortly. Is this normal to feel like this?

There is no normal in any of this. Many turn to dating and even casual sex as a coping mechanism. I am not a fan of it, and my advice is always the same. Do not complicate your situation by introducing a new person into the mix.

I am a big fan of the show Everybody Loves Raymond. There is one episode where a woman mistakes Robert for Ray,. and when she shows up at Ray's house, everyone thinks Ray is cheating on Debra, His dad Frank says: "What did I teach you? You have a problem with the wife you don't go out and get another broad (sic). Now you just have TWO problems!"

I think Frank through his crassness hit on a very important principle for LBSs. There will be plenty of time for dating in the future. No need to rush into before you are mentally and emotionally ready. Many on this form have broken that principle and paid an emotional price for it later.

So is it normal to feel weird about it this early? I think it is, but then many would say I am the abnormal one. My advice is to deregister. Focus on you and your kids. When your WAH is long gone in the rearview mirror, the D is final, and the kids are used to the arrangement then you can dip your toe into the dating water.