Ooooo good call on the lowered expectations wooba. This also made me think of somethings regarding the responsibilities being a bit much. So as we know I've been battling depression a long time, so I follow some mental health professional mom influencers. Some of which are at home with a gaggle of kids trying to live through these crazy times. One I follow on TikTok does a lot about self care and care tasks with depression and she's found it's really helping support a lot of primary caregivers during these times. Some of the main things she makes clear are: care tasks never end, babies don't stay babies forever take the time to truly enjoy some moments with each kiddo every day, and self care because you can't put the oxygen mask on others if yours isn't on.
So care tasks - cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. The things that you can finish but are never finished. She does a lot of work around not valuing yourself on how well, quickly or often you complete care tasks. That you are not valued as a person based on those things. That your home is a home it is lived in and there is no need to be a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot. She also does a lot of work on allowing yourself the space to use short cuts like paper plates, ordering take out, paying a little more to have groceries delivered, whatever it may be to help ease the burden. She also talks about being willing to let the laundry pile up, or to not vacuum for days. To not force things in for the purposes of a tidy home, to do them because you feel like it, or because it needs to be done. And doing these things within the limits of how much you have the energy for. If you only have time and energy for 2 loads makes it underwear, socks and other essentials. Things like that. The self care part, she doesn't just talk about bubble baths and yoga. She talks about protective hairstyles for all types of hair so you don't have to wash your hair every day if don't have time or energy to shower every day. She talks about finding space for yourself during the day even if it means not being super mom and popping on some Disney+ and throwing fruit snacks at the kids.
Another thought I had was maybe looking into age appropriate chore charts, and no your kids shouldn't have to pick up the burden because you H is out the door, but self reliance is good thing, as is doing your part as a member of a household. You guys are living, working and learning in the same space far more than normal and you all are having to deal with changes. Maybe making some tweaks to the care tasks in your home can alleviate some stress for you and help to usher in a new normal for you guys.
Point being here, Sage, you do not have to be all things to all people all of the time.
