WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

Rough time at drop off last night. I turned onto W's street 4-5 mins early (i.e., not much) and OM2's truck was at her house. I felt a little panic with S5 and D2 in the car and had to make a quick decision on how to handle the situation. I did not want to drop the kids off with OM2 at the house, potentially seeing W kiss him goodbye so I kept on driving. S5 asked why we passed W's house and were going a different way. I texted W to ask "Are you going to have him leave before the kids show up?" and circled the neighborhood for awhile, then turned back and pulled up as OM2's truck was driving away. I dropped off the kids and didn't say anything to W. I don't know if she saw the text before drop off or after I left, but regardless she's now aware I know there's OM2.

W hadn't seen the kids for 5 days and had an entire week/weekend with this guy. It's not like I showed up an hour or two early. Drop off is the same time every single week. Why can't she ask him to leave 15-20mins, or god forbid a half hour earlier so the kids aren't impacted??? Why would she invite him to D2's birthday party a month ago, and have him over on nights she has the kids. It seems so inappropriate just 2-3 months after moving out. The kids don't need this right now. They need our focus and as much stability as is possible during this situation.

I was pretty worked up after that and called family and friends. Met up with two friends for a beer and talked it out and they calmed me down a bit. It just seems so selfish. Sure, I deserve more too but me aside the kids shouldn't have to deal with this. Earlier in the day S5 was sad/quiet holding back tears and I asked if he missed mommy and he nodded and said mommy is lonely when I'm not there. Of course I did not say this (the kids need to be protected, not hear me vent) but thoughts of anger flashed in my mind thinking "mommy isn't lonely - she's with another man all weekend and would rather be with him than us". I admit it hurts me too and I'm not fully detached, but the impact on the kids really burns me.