#18 - Still working 2 years into Ring & Piecing

[BL42]

LH19,

Steve, this could have been written about me, especially how I handled the rejection of no sex. What made it worse in my situation is how she invalidated my feelings of rejection. I didn't realise it at the time how damaging this sort of behaviour is. Of course, throughout our marriage I did exactly the same thing back to her, invalidate and fix, rinse, repeat, so unhealthy. It's a cruel irony of life that it takes BD for men to wake up to improving themselves to be better husbands but usually it is too little too late. In my situation it looks like the horse has bolted unfortunately, just as I'm starting to 'get it'.

So Bent who wins in the long run you or your W? 97% of men act like you did in your marriage so odds are the a$$ clown she’s dating will act the same way. But if you take what you learn into your next relationship then you will be the winner. Does it $uck it had to come to this for you to learn? Absolutely. Well let me tell you something you already know, the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.

So LH, this is probably a pointless question but and maybe you'll tap my knuckles with the ruler, but do you think my W (and OnlyBent's) are turning things on for their AP/OM only to have the same issue a year or two or three down the road? Or, is it something wrong with us personally and the OM will be better? I know I'm not supposed to detach and care about that but the question is in the back of my mind wondering if it's me or W.