I also just want to stand up for women in the ‘ensnaring’ commentary.
Unless she is a sociopath, or on the spectrum of a serious personality disorder, most women do not approach M with the intent of ensnaring. That sounds to me like a cop-out for men who can’t own their contribution to the SSM or the M. And you don’t hear women suggesting that men ensnared them, so it also feels very sexist to me. Do women make certain choices based up on their perceived future stability? Absolutely. But I would argue men do the same thing and yet we don’t call it ensnaring.
I don't think you can say this in totality. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence of to suggest that there is a degree of "trying to get him to marry me" that goes on in many cases. It's like the old joke (the original version is crude so I'll clean it up a bit): Why do brides smile on their wedding day? Because they know they never have to give oral sex again.
Maybe ensnare is too harsh a word, but there is often an aspect of a GF being willing to do things, sexually or not, to get married. I know women that were very into their boyfriends hobbies..... Until the I does were done, and then it was "go do your own thing". So it certainly does happen.
Now you make a good point about men owning there side too. LH touched on it but we guys can get lazy in the marriage and stop trying. When the guy feels so comfortable that he'll just let loose with farts around her, maybe his dress and hygiene and grooming gets lax, and he stops romancing her I can see why a wife would not want to sleep with that! So it does go both ways.
But I can only speak for my case...I still dated her, groomed and dressed well, and kept my hygiene up (I'm a bit of a neat freak). But did I behave badly about her not having desire? Yes I did.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
