I wonder, as you look back now, do you see any signs that she wasn’t quite who you thought she was earlier in the marriage?
Yes, yes I do.
I used to feel sorry for her. Somehow, she had came from a string (20+) of terrible relationships, where the guy was always a douchebag. She could never seem to get a break, and had weird and wonderful stories about how she had been a victim so many times. Bouts of anorexia, depression and unresolved mental health issues from teenage years with on and off medication.
Enter me. Strong, stable, fixer, good income... and things moved very quickly. I have no doubt she lined me up as a baby-daddy as her clock started ticking early thirties.
Now I look back and realise she wasn’t a victim at all. The string of bad relationships was her fault. Her mental health issues always remained bubbling under the surface, unresolved. They simply simmered away gathering momentum. I was the only guy who actually put up with her crap and kept her on the rails enough to have a marriage and kids.
And as she rounded the corner and hit peri-menopause, those unresolved issues exploded into MLC and subsequently the world’s most acrimonious divorce.
I think the thing she ended up resenting me for the most was that I made her see things about herself that she had run from and hidden her whole life. But she’s completely beyond ever being able to have that level of insight to herself.
I had a huge case of NGS. I used to think I was the luckiest guy in the world and that I’d managed to save her from a world full of arsehole guys. Now I look back and realise I was the only one prepared to put up with her s***.
Anyway, that’s far too much talk about her problems - which are no longer mine to fix or manage!
