Learn to accept yourselves. Love yourselves first. Find happiness inside. It is there.
Search for a member called "Denver". Read his story.
Nef, Ovr, thanks for the supportive posts. I’ve always appreciated your advice. I am happy, but like most I want what I can’t have. Would be great if we could put all the crap behind us and not worry about that ever happening again.
I read through some posts by Denver_2010 (his posts are longer than mine lol). He showed a PMA while being on the rollercoaster for a long time. He described it as fake it til you make it. I fake happiness around my W at times too. It’s hard, especially when you think about how how easily she gave herself to the OM, but won’t give the same to me. It’s important to remember that most people don’t want to be around others that are sad and depressed so it’s better to act as if. I try to remember and implement this mindset.
Denver also wrote about playing his ace in the hole of pressing forward with D. He was fed up and done when his WW wouldn’t go NC and took this step. It turned out to be the driving force for her to finally realize what she was giving up. I was in much the same place on June 1st when I discovered the PA was continuing behind my back. I told my W not to bother coming back and I absolutely meant it. I wanted nothing more to do with her and fully accepted it was time to initiate the D. When she came back that night and handed over her phone and committed to NC I was caught off guard. I do see that I took her back too easily. She didn’t have to experience the feeling of fully losing me.
Me:41 W:39 S:9 D:6 T:20 M:16 PA:8/22/18, BD:11/6/18 PA discovery & IHS:12/3/18, W moves:4/2/19 R’ville:9/27/19, I give D docs:3/1/20 W home:4/5/20 (due to CV-19), W NC w/OM:4/13/20 6/1/20
