Persistent Endurance (Part 8)

[curtis7]

Again Curtis 6 years here and your W is hands down the worst WW I’ve seen.

Here is my question for you curtis. Why is your self-esteem so low that you could let someone treat you this way for this long without finally saying "enough is enough" and taking decisive action to move your own life forward?!

I have high esteem, value, and self worth. I also owe my W time to work through her issues. I had an amazing partner for over a decade and a half. That person didn’t just up and disappear, she became wayward. She made choices that cut deep and hurt me more than anything I thought a person could. I am not blameless in this and did many things over the years that caused her to resent me and open herself up to the temptation of others. Yes, it absolutely [censored] beyond belief how far she took it by leaving and having multiple affairs. Nevertheless I will defend and support her now that she has returned home as I see the loving and caring woman that I married is still in there. This doesn’t mean she wants to be with me.

And LH nailed it with your kids. I am about as anti-D as they come, but your children watching this for this long is going to have lasting effects on how they view relationships, and will potentially set them up for toxic, bad relationships in their own lives. So while you are holding on tight, hoping for her to magically wake up from her fog (insert a giant Steve85 eyeroll along with LH), the damage that is being done to your children, potentially irreversible, is concerning. At some point curtis you have to stop wanting what you want so badly, and think about them.

And spare me the "oh they don't know what is going on" speech. Kids are way more perceptive about this stuff then you could ever imagine.

I think about this often and it pisses me off that my kids see the way that W and I live together. This is not the relationship model I want them to believe is acceptable. I made some very bad choices since BD which didn’t show that I valued self respect. Instead it showed my kids that it was okay for someone to treat you poorly. I can’t go back and change that and I pray that this limbo is coming to an end to minimize the long term damage on my kids so they don’t experience this in their relationships.

Just the other day, D6 said to her mom I know why you had to leave our house and go to the other house. It’s because you were fighting with dad. W replied we’re not fighting at all. It’s like my daughter now believes a good solution is to pickup and run away rather than work through marital issues based on what her mother has shown her. Sad.