well, after waiting for three months we finally had our first session with the counselor. okay granted I knew that it wouldn't be easy but already on the first visit now even though he suggested this and told me that he loves me, he is not sure that he wants to get back together????!!!!! I am wellk, actually I can't describe it, I'm hurt, angry, frustrated.......
I'm sure it was very hard to hear...but can I slant it a different way? h said he "wasn't sure" -- he's being honest and open (positives!), he hasn't shut the door in his mind (positive!), etc. If you can stand to work within the ambiguity and DB, DB, DB, well, I think you'll see more positives.
Is your C solution oriented and pro-marriage?
What's your background/marriage story? How are you doing getting goals together, etc?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
well, I'm trying to be positive. last two counselors didn't work out (saw 2 when married) so I do want to give this one a chance, but I told her on the phone how we have been d for 3 three years and would like to work on rebuilding and when we got there one of my peeves was his feeling for his tenanet (used to be ours) how he is over there alot and has asked her out and that I thought is was not a good idea and would not be good for our d and dating your landlord to me just doesn't seem right and okay a little jealous here too. she asked me what I thought of her and actually she is very pretty and has two wonderful girls and my ex would actually be a good match for her. well, she starts in about how just becasue we get along so well, she said that maybe just becasue we still love eachother doesn't mean we should get back together, that two people just don't work together well when it comes to the marriage union and starts giving the ex dating tips and on how to go about dating the tenant!!! that she should move to another apt. and then she won't be his tenant anymore! I was so angry and hurt. When we got out in the parking lot I couldn't hold it in anymore and I started to cry. he said he was sorry but that he loved me as a person and mother but was unsure about the wife part then starts telling me that if we get re-married he would like a small family cermony with a justice of the peace--he is really consufing me. so needless to say, that next session is just with the counselor and him. so we will have to see what happens.
hey rottizlla: I'm kinda in the same boat only at least you have had some phsycial contact. He doesn't see me as a wife anymore. he told me that since the d he hasn't had sex with anyone but me--three years and I was like well here I am and ILU but he says he doesn't know. I told him sometimes I just want a hug, to me next to him and he looked at me like I was from another planet. I just don't know how to get to the next level.
Yeah, I am sorry to see you going through this. Sometimes I just want to grab H and shake him and make him see what a good thing he has. It stinks you have to feel these things.
Keep us posted on this C. She sounds like a real winner.
