I'll be honest, I have a hard time assessing how much of this is my ADHD and how much of this is a need for him and his family to feel and act superior. I don't doubt that I struggle with ADHD a bit, but it has not proven to be a problem with employers etc. I don't doubt that it is frustrating at times, but there is simply no excuse for a relationship in which I am constantly criticized whilst I work harder and harder to please him and/or his parents. So, yes, I am working on the ADHD. But at some point I feel that I deserve so much more than this. As previously stated, he appears to disregard when he messes up, when he double books events, when he loses things. He is chronically late to appointments and events. I could choose to make a big deal of this, but I do not.
So, yes, I need to work on myself. But I do not need a sanctimonious, critical spouse who appears fully incapable of seeing his own shortcomings with regard to organization and time management. Nor do I need in laws who criticize my housekeeping after I spent hours cleaning in preparation for their visit.
Sorry if I'm ranting, but there is an important calculus to this situation: to what lengths does one go to improve themselves and rectify their own shortcomings and when does one say "I'm human and you are too. I am worth more than constant criticism and contempt."
I recognize and appreciate that this is a board devoted to saving marriages. I would love my marriage saved. But not in the face of derision and constant, ill guided attempts to "fix me" on the part of a spouse who appears to relish playing the role of superior.
