“W, I see you saying sex is the core schism of our marriage and we are doomed to split, which is why you’re looking for apartments. Instead, let’s commit to not worrying about any of this until S2 is 4. You don’t need to move out, instead I will remove all pressure and we can focus on getting you help and support so you don’t feel so stuck and pressured.”
Are you ready to go two yrs without sex? The only thing I can agree with the IC is to deescalate the drama & tension. Stop bringing up the subject of sex, for now. Don't approach her about your feelings.
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You don’t need to move out, instead I will remove all pressure and we can focus on getting you help and support so you don’t feel so stuck and pressured.”
Sorry, I know you mean well, but I think she won't respond well to this statement. I could be wrong, but your concern is likely to come across as wanting to get her fixed so you can have sex. Maybe you just need to drop talking about sex for now.
Are you seeing the IC specifically for your marital problems, or are you there for your insecurity issues? Don't you think it would be more beneficial to get help for your abandonment issues, and any other emotional problems you have?
Your emotional state concerns me. You are bouncing all over the place, going from her being asexual to possibly bipolar. You are freaking out, and need to calm down. You can't help anyone until you get control of your own emotions. You are sounding very desperate. I understand you love her and it's killing you to see her in pain. You want to get help for her, but it's hard to get an adult help if they won't cooperate.
You've listed a wide range of mental health possibilities. Does anyone in her immediate family have any of these mental issues?
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She had a cry for help a few years ago where I thought I’d lost her.
What happened? Was she hospitalized? Can you tell us the diagnosis? Is she taking medication?
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I don’t know where to deviate from DB with a depressed spouse who is showing substance abuse signs.
Can you give an example of something particularly to deviate in DBing?
Where is her family? Have they commented on her behavior......or showed concern for her mental health?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
