When I sit back and look within myself, I really have a determination to not give up. Call it stubbornness, faith or anything in between. I do feel he is 100 percent MLC, but with that comes the uncertainty that he may never recover and deal with what has caused this (if he even knows what that is).
One thing, from reading situations here, I know that in some respects I am lucky. Even though he is at home, and he has left without a word for a weekend, he is normally home every night. He comes home during next day from work and as far as I can tell if he is with friends, they all have obligations and they aren’t necessarily going out to meet people. Covid has helped in a strange way for him not being able to freely go places and the same reason has made it hard for me to GAL freely.
This limbo from H and covid has been long and yet, for the most part I’m ok. Having D here has been fun, but if she was still out of state, I know I’d be ok, as it was just H and I with the BD for about six months before lockdowns came along and with it our D coming home. I have friends, family and hobbies. As my IC would say, I am comfortable in my own skin. H isn’t. So for me in a weird way, this in certain aspects is easier for me then H.
As for thanksgiving, I think I will make a special plan for something fun, maybe a movie to stream, since we aren’t heading out. I of course would like him at the table, but if not, we have had plenty of meals without him present in the last 18 months.
I appreciate your comments, DV. You said it perfectly, he is a ghost living here, I never thought of that that way and it is spot on.
