I second what DnJ said Scout. I think you did the right thing. I know Christmas is a big day but there are ways to make things work. In my situation, last year XH had the kids on Christmas Eve (a bigger deal in his family than in mine) and Christmas morning. He then delivered them to my house at around noon and me, my kids, my sister, my BIL and XH’s mother opened gifts and had Xmas dinner together. My kids loved this arrangement because in the past we always waited for my sister and her husband to arrive to open gifts in the morning and they hated having to wait. This way they didn’t have to. Do I wish I had them the whole time? Of course I do but I’m sure XH does too. Divorce [censored]. It brings about changes to routines and schedules that are not what we want but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. This year I have a boyfriend with two kids of his own and extended family that are used to a routine. I don’t think that is going to impact me too much this year but if we are still together next year, it probably will. I’m not going to worry about it. My kids and I will always have our Christmas together...it just won’t look like it did before and it may not always be on the 25th.
Honestly...the first Christmas was the worst. It was four months after BD and I was a mess. Every change in routine felt like a huge loss to me. I was just going through the motions. Last year was much better. I was still a bit sad that things were different but the sadness wasn’t constant and I enjoyed myself. I expect that this year will be even better.
You will get through this Scout. You will still make memories with your son. Maybe start some new traditions? For the years that you don’t have him, are there friends or family you could join for Christmas dinner? Or maybe you can volunteer at a dinner for the homeless or something like that? I think that would help.
You are going to be okay Scout. Don’t make it a bigger deal in your mind than it actually is. Right now it feels like a huge sacrifice because you are still adjusting to the new normal. Give it some time. It will get better. (((HUGS)))
