However emotional you feel about this issue, your relationship with your X is essentially a business relationship. And what you are talking about is a negotiation (in this case, a parenting plan including holiday schedule).
If Christmas is a dealbreaker for you, then so be it. I get it, and the other posters who responded do too. It is the most difficult holiday and I've only been through one round of it so far. I'm not going to judge what you should or shouldn't do, although I think it's good to know what a court would order so you know what "default" you are working with.
Going back to the business analogy, it's hard to make agreements without offering something in return.
In the process of my D (still ongoing) I gave my X a few things she wanted. I didn't feel fair, I had to grit my teeth at times. I also got a few things that I really wanted.
I'm just curious if there is anything you could offer in return? Not necessarily something comparable.
