I have sat and had a long conversation with my good friend about this self medicating with dating. So I recognize what may be going on and I'm working through it so I do get what you are saying Joe... I do.
I know with 100% certainty that COVID is definitely part of whats taking its toll on me. Things I would normally do are NOT happening. Mentally its getting to be a strain. I'm doing what I can on Zoom but its still so isolating. Add in that I'm home alone (S19 at college). So maybe I could make better choices but I wish better choices were available. I'm not trying to make excuses... I'm reaching out to a step sister that I don't know that well and asking to hang out and do something fun... I've been spending the last couple of days trying to figure out what that "fun" is now that its colder what few outdoor events are done and no one is risking in door events.
Yeah. I get the like attracting like which is why I'm not reaching out and chasing. I would definitely like to spend more time with this person but I realize I'm a minor car accident (not quite a train wreck... )
At work this morning. My H and I both have extremely UNIQUE names. Receptionist came to find me told me she thought she was getting punked... lol. She took a call from someone wanting to make an appt so she asked if he had been there before... he said yes... so she asked for a name... (H NAME)... she was like WHAT???? LOL. So yup. H is bringing in the puppy a week from Thursday.... Made for an interesting day but moving on.
I tend to pour out here things that I'm stewing on or processing. Getting things out and naming them is a huge way deal with them. I have doubts. I have questions. I realize I'm a hot mess at times but seriously things are so much better. Dr took me off AD's 1 mo ago... so I'm not just winging this. I have resources.
