Hi Benji, Steve already said what I was going to, and that is that you are actually in a much better position than most of us were when coming here because your wife has not delivered the "bomb drop" and it sounds like while the attraction may be waning, your W is not to the point of wanting to separate. That's actually good, you caught this much earlier than most of us and she (hopefully) hasn't hardened her heart yet. Definitely check out Michele's SSM book as Steve suggested. I would also suggest you read The Five Love Languages, it's a good companion book to Michele's books. Also read Divorce Remedy, you're not at that stage but I think it would still be helpful to read it.
If your W is open to sex and/ or marriage therapy then definitely pursue that. Give it time to work, don't pressure her. Right now she's probably feeling trapped and the more you can relieve the pressure on her the less trapped she'll feel.
