Thank you. I’m feeling very lost right now, and I spent last night deeply regretting bringing up the lawyer. Your message really means a lot to me, helps provide direction and a little badly-needed hope.
I do have a deadline in mind, and it has been somewhat freeing. And honestly, even though yesterday was very hard, it largely doesn’t change the situation. My deadline is still in place, and I will continue GALing like crazy and learning to live my own life, while also distancing and detaching. And holding out non-binding hope that she is on a path to heal herself.
I hope you’re right and what worked in your situation helps in mine - that mentioning I had contingent plans sobers her up a little. Because I think she’s currently in the position of “stay as far away as possible and make no movements toward improvement.”
My best guess is that she knows there is a lot broken in our situation, and is just burying problems under more problems hoping they’ll go away. Some day she will have to face those problems head on.
But everything in my life is giving me the same message: “let go, stop pushing life.” It’s come to me from multiple directions in multiple formats, and I need to start listening to it. God, I miss my wife. I want that reconciliation so bad it hurts. I want that healed family with smiling faces and shared love. But what I’m seeing in literature all around me is, let go of the wanting. It’s the only way you can be free in life. Let go and stop pushing,
I thought I had, and then yesterday blindsided me. I clearly have more work to do.
