May22, does this sound like a good start for boundaries?
1) No one-on-one meetings. First, because I might weep and this, for me at least, is not what I want to do. Showing vulnerability and pain is not the way to go according to DB principles; also, I showed her massive amounts of both during the first 90 days after BD, and she was not moved at the time. Finally, there is the matter of her (false) accusation of violence toward her. If I am ever alone with her, without witnesses, she might well claim I threatened her and succeed in getting that restraining order.
2) No working things out in writing, at least for now. Sorry, this boundary is not so much a matter of pain but one of trying, finally, to get some level of control of the settlement process.
3) No verbal discussions. I am still pretty wounded. That means not over the phone and certainly no facetime.
4) Texting to coordinate the trivial is fine. When it come to the children, they are all adults and I will let them be the interface.
