I would suggest checking out the MLC board and consider moving your thread over there. There are a number of people in similar situations to you (long-term IHS) and the vibe over there is very different from this one.
If you haven't followed IronWill's thread on this board either, I'd suggest you read it, as he's been in IHS for going on two years. He has a really great recent post with advice for people walking a similar path to him that you might find helpful-- I did. I think if you're going to continue down this path, really focusing on yourself and detachment is going to be key.
Also, this:
Originally Posted by joejoe1
Your Wife hasn't had a chance to miss you, because she has never LOST you or been given the opportunity to think she was going to loss you. You are so accessible, you might as well be her coat in a closet. She puts you on when she gets cold, but, while she's hot you are put up in the dark closet.
You get 2X4's because we care about you. We care about your family and marriage, but to be honest, all your actions, show you only care about yourself. Even your list is full of selfish intent. Stop being selfish and start loving. And allowing people to make their own decisons is a part of that process. Your W don't/won't/can't love you because you won't allow her to with your actions. She is being smothered with you and your impatient for her to make a decision to choose you.
This is gold.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
