Yes, Ready2change, he does act like a scared cat. And having a cat around might be good if I have a mouse problem. Kidding! (I take this all very seriously, but sometimes when life gets hard, you just have to crack a corny joke.)
Joking aside, as I start to see past my own pain and see his point of view, I grow more and more understanding of just how hurt he must be. I mean, yes I have pleaded for forgiveness, but those pleas were punctuated by periods of yelling and threats. I was hurt and lashed out. To him, this probably has felt all very emotionally unstable and scary. To me, it's been painful and difficult and a roller coaster. So, while I have tried to patch things up, it's understandable that he hasn't run back into the arms of a screaming, threatening woman who decided to walk out.
So yes, I will be "cat nip." Or, at the very least, I will just be pleasant, kind, understanding and emotionally centered. And I will try and continue to work on myself. Becoming a more even keel person who isn't rueld by emotions, investing in my own career and independence, and trying to see past my own pain are good things to do regardless of the outcome.
To be honest, while I'm more emotional than DH, I'm also more forgiving. DH tends to write things off past a certain point. It may well be that he only wants to be friends at this point. And I need to be ok with that. What happened is what happened and while I did not react well, there were legitimate reasons I felt the way I did. So, I just need to be ok with whatever happens and focus on being the best me that I can be. I'm going to do my best to learn from this. And to move on in a positive direction
