Fall 2019 discover H is having a full on EA, spent several months working on the R in MC, followed by a temporary separation, a reconciliation, and then H signs a year lease and moves out in August 2020. Terrible spewing/monstering/complete re-writing of history for months and months. My self-esteem and self-worth was devastated. I did a lot of things wrong and have only now begun to come out of my own fog.
At first I thought H was a WAH, but exploring MLC and understanding the depths of his depression and childhood issues and came to believe he is in MLC. He could be both. But I am not so concerned about that at the moment as I try to live each day and keep my attention on the long-term and not those micro-moments.
Four young children and a joint business. Neither of us have legally instigated D, although H talks as if it is a done deal and wants to begin discussions in the new year.
In the meantime, I am working on myself, focussing on my children and re-imagining my life moving forward. The best thing to happen to me in a year has been my recent discovery that I am slowly but surely detaching from H. I no longer feel at the mercy of his feelings; I am owning my side of the street and let H own his side. This process has been long and hard, but I am grateful for the lessons I am learning along the way.
