But, living here with me??? That was the cause of all the misery??? When will he wake up?
Years from now. IF HE EVER DOES. He may very well NEVER wake up. 25 doesn't post here anymore, but have you read her sitch? Sounds a lot like yours. She DB'd like crazy and actually did recon with her H. He continued to be the same horrible husband and father and person he was before, during and after BD and she eventually left him. In his case he never did "wake up" to his personal faults. She changed, but he never did.
I think it is AS that also says that sometimes it takes the new relationship having to hit the skids before the WAS wakes up to the fact that the LBS wasn't the cause of all the misery. It goes something like this:
- WAS is miserable - WAS blames LBS - WAS separates/divorces/starts a PA with someone new - WAS eventually realizes that though they are with someone else they are still miserable - WAS realizes that LBS wasn't the cause of their misery
Here is the thing, that doesn't mean he'll want to get back together which I know you are still banking on.
And then there is this: Why is your self-esteem so low that you would be willing to allow this man to do all of this to you, and then "wake-up" and come back? It saddens me that KC doesn't see the truth (you weren't the cause of his misery) and that you are no longer willing to take him back because he engaged in a deal-breaker (cheating).
Wow. Just realized that I think I had this same discussion with you about 8 months ago.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
