We're probably right on track for his acting "normal" until he realizes I'm not going to play along, at which point he will explode. All of this has made me realize I'm not fully detached because I still, deep down, feel partially responsible for his feelings and actions when I should not. Something to be aware of and focus on rewiring...
Can I ask a tough question? Do you really feel responsible for H's feelings and actions OR are you scared of his feelings and actions?
In the early days after BD, I felt responsible for H's feelings, that they were somehow mine to fix. In the waning days of my co-dependency/attachment to H (like last month, haha), my primary response was based upon fear of his reactions and how they would make me feel. At that point, I didn't necessarily feel responsible for H's feelings, but I was still scared of those feelings.
I think like Sage said, being aware of possible co-dependency in your past R and work towards separating yourself from your H is the key. Once you've worked your way through it though, it might be that we "normal" folks just do not take these feelings/behavior well anyway. For me, when H blew up at me last time, I felt neither responsible for it nor was I scared of his feelings/actions. I was just both surprised and offended because what came out from him was not socially acceptable. A lot of times it's simply a conflict between what's expected (the social norm) vs MLC behavior.
