I have to say, you are the queen of GAL, girl. In a couple short months (weeks??) you have gone from having a lot of time on your hands to being so in demand with work and obligations that we hardly see you! Yay for you!
I hope that the work is fulfilling and you are getting some external interactions with colleagues, if only virtually. Other people can help us realize what it feels like to be treated with respect and dignity and reinforce that we are indeed good people worthy of those things.
Originally Posted by cardinal
We're probably right on track for his acting "normal" until he realizes I'm not going to play along, at which point he will explode. All of this has made me realize I'm not fully detached because I still, deep down, feel partially responsible for his feelings and actions when I should not. Something to be aware of and focus on rewiring...
Can I ask a tough question? Do you really feel responsible for H's feelings and actions OR are you scared of his feelings and actions?
In the early days after BD, I felt responsible for H's feelings, that they were somehow mine to fix. In the waning days of my co-dependency/attachment to H (like last month, haha), my primary response was based upon fear of his reactions and how they would make me feel. At that point, I didn't necessarily feel responsible for H's feelings, but I was still scared of those feelings.
Identifying the source of my reactions and feelings was a helpful exercise in the process of separating my feelings from H's feelings. Which helped aid detachment.
You are so full of growth, wisdom and curiosity, Cardinal. You are going to be just fine, no matter how hard H makes this process.
