it's been some time since I updated my own thread. W & I are done with construction on our next business venture. We built a 5,000 sq ft barn wedding venue and have been going since April. 80 hour weeks started in early August and things were intense. Luckily I hired a great person in June to help at my office (I have an insurance agency as some of you know and we have built and sold a couple spec houses) and that made it easier for me to work on the barn so much. Now it's back to being an insurance agent most of the time.
W & I had ups and downs, but have had a couple periods now where we are really hitting our stride, looking out for each other, and things are going well. We did have our share of fights including with her family, but I do think that W, her family, and I are doing well and I think that shows up in our actions. I'm also trying to stop being such a puss with my own family. I don't have the relationship I want with my brother (we don't talk), my sister (distant since we have political disagreements), my father (has issues), and my mother (too distant). I'm taking action here to make these relationships what I want them to be. It's been easy for me to just kick the can down the road but I'm not doing that anymore.
I started journaling a couple weeks ago. I credit R2C for turning me on to the stoics and that was something they suggested. Then I heard Matthew McCoughney on Joe Rogan say how he has journaled for 37 years. So I started. It's been good. I'm focused on the things I want in life. I'm doing what I need to do be better. I posted in Indy's thread that I "stood" and didn't file for divorce but still tried moving on nonetheless. I don't know how to reconcile that - how to honor your vows but still protect yourself and have a radical acceptance of the situation. But I do know that I will get to write the end to my story. In my journal, I made a new vow: to file if an OM ever shows up again. The way things are going it's not like I have even the slightest suspicion, but I made this vow because I know I'm strong enough to handle it and that I'll never be weak enough again to accept this. I am trying to appreciate myself, without sounding arrogant, so writing that down helped move me forward.
I am still going to IC, every other week now. I'm making progress there, trying to set goals and stick to them. I'm very much a discipline guy in other facets of life, so it only makes sense to carry that over. I don't think I really need it, but I want to keep improving and this is beneficial to me. One of my new goals is to be accepting of other people's political views and stop all the hateful crap in my country. I think the media (right and left) love stirring the pot and it is in their business interests to do so. Hopefully you guys will think about this as well. I'm going to read the 3% Man that LH is always recommending soon. Looking forward to that. I read The Inner Citadel over the summer and am reading An Intro to the Devout Life right now. The author has a very interesting background and perspective.
Snow season is coming up and I've decided to be there if my FIL needs me. He put in as many hours as I did on the venue and between the dirt work, land clearing, backhoe work, business advice, and carpentry the value was over $100,000. Now I do believe that he is doing that for his daughter first, but I benefit from it without a doubt. I'm thankful for all of his help. It is the biggest gift I have ever received. I think I can pay that back with a few days of snowplowing. I was able to help him acquire some money through the small business programs in the CARES act. So that was good, but it's not like we're even close. So I'm going to keep a PMA and give back.
Thank you all for sticking with me and helping me. This has been an amazing place for me.
Another book from Over! Hope I'm not boring anyone to death!
Last edited by ovrrnbw; 11/03/2006:51 PM.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
