It's good advice and that is actually what I did. When it came out that only one parent could attend games I said to DH, "why don't you take them on your Saturdays and I'll take them on my Saturdays." I felt it was an even, sensible split given the circumstances. But, of course, he just shows up on my Saturdays to the games in violation of the rec center's covid policy. I don't say anything because there is no point in starting a fight, but in my mind I'm thinking that this is odd. A man who wouldn't ever go to a game is now going to all games in violation of the stated policy. Again, not going to bring it up with him or fight about it, but it's beyond weird to me.
And yes, there is no point in bringing how he failed in the past up. I'm trying to work with him on this newfound vigor for his role as a father. It's nice, but, at this point, it is hard to find it attractive. It would have been very attractive years ago. I want to work on the marriage and encourage him. I want to find a middle ground. But I can't make things feel attractive when they feel so over the top and put on. I am struggling at times to see it as genuine. I am getting there, but I am evaluating this just like he is.
He actually called about the school supply list and we had a good discussion. I went over the list with him and then I said, "DH, I have to be honest. This is a very simple list. Perhaps I'm wrong here and I don't want to misread things, but your desire to go over it feels a bit like you don't trust me to handle a simple list with the kids. I don't want to fight and I wan't to see your perspective, but I did want to say that I feel a bit micromanaged." He actually apologized and said he realizes he can be overbearing. So that was good. I communicated openly and wasn't hostile.
