Good advice. The games are evenly divided between our days. Typically we have both attended since separation; Starting with Covid, the rec center asked only one parent/guardian attend with children. DH was up in arms "we can both attend." It's times like this when I think, "OK for years I would have given my left arm for you to attend a game and now it means so much to you that you're fighting their covid policy?"
I think part of it is about engaging with kids now, but I also think there is a controlling/competitive element that he won't acknowledge. Like the school supply list, the constant updates making sure I'm not missing things on my custody time. It's frustrating. I'm trying to see things from his perspective and I can be scattered, but I basically single handedly raised the kids prior to the separation, so this newfound monitoring irks me.
Again, if I'm trying to reconcile, this is, I suppose, the wrong attitude to have. I just feel like some of this is a way to criticize and control me via the kids
So you divide the games --- look at the schedule and agree who goes to which game.
Why argue? Why point out how desperate you've been to get him to be engaged.
Why not simply "your dedication to the time you spend with the kids is so great ((let's face it ladies we find it very attractive when a guy is being a hands on dad--- so you go as deep as you want... It's so attractive, etc... whatever your comfort level)) these days - I know they appreciate as do I"
Then "due to current policy how can we divide these times up so we get equal time to share?
I would not come from this a point of attack OR a point of past hurt. You want to recon you are going to have to let go of the past --- keeping score is when no one wins.
