Brside and LH definitely have great perspectives here and I am still learning when they post.
I was in your shoes. I still don't have the answer as to how one is detached and moving on with life while still hoping to bust the divorce. Maybe it's because I was never completely detached. For me, maybe that was never going to happen. Until you're ready to file, you're not ready. It is what it is. One day you'll figure it out, but this is not some tactile goal where you can just go throw yourself at it and then you have the thing built and that's it.
Something I keep thinking about (and writing in my journal I just started a few weeks ago) is being "core me". I keep writing that "core me" is:
