Sage, how lovely to read of birthday child's delight! Was there cake, too? Tell me about the cake. I'm so glad others were able to follow your example of how to treat H, that everyone, including H, came together to make the day about the birthday child, as it should be.
Originally Posted by Sage4
14 years of trying to fill a cup that had leaks in it turns out to be a lesson in futility. Only the individual is capable of plugging those holes that were created in childhood; no one else can do it for us. Stepping back and examining the leaks in my own cup is all I am in charge of at this time. That, and trying to give my children the tools and resiliency to fix their own holes when it comes time for them to examine their cup of life.
Your writing about detachment is helping me see where I need to do more work. I think I subconsciously still feel responsible for some of my H's insecurities (as I continue to recognize how deep they were/are), for some of his anger. Wayfarer is right, and I love how clearly you are able to know what is your work to do and what is H's. This especially feels freeing, and is something I need to remind myself of every day: "Stepping back and examining the leaks in my own cup is all I am in charge of at this time."
I'm so glad others were able to follow your example of how to treat H, that everyone, including H, came together to make the day about the birthday child, as it should be.
