Walk Away Spouse Fits My Ex-Wife to a "T" - part 2

[Ready2Change]

Arranging time with the kids for the holidays is going to be an issue for years. My advice is to bend-over backwards to accommodate your kids. Do not put a premium on the day, just the time spent. "Dad, mom is insisting on getting together for Christmas Eve, and we have my spouse's side on Christmas. Could we do Christmas with you on Saturday?" Accommodate that. Do not get into the game of "Your mom gets Christmas Eve she is more important to than I am!" Be the bigger person. The time with your kids (and grandkids assuming you have some) is the important thing, not the day. The problems always arise when pettiness rules the day. Remember, your adult kids are caught in the middle of juggling all of this. Make it as easy for them as possible.

I also agree with Steve, but in my sitch, I made sure things were 50/50 fair and equal...

I didn't care if the kids were at my house Thanksgiving Thursday or Friday. As long as I was able to spend the day with them and that we alternated days each year. They were at my house on Thursday every other year.

Now that my kids are all out of the house, D19 asked about thanksgiving. I said I am fine following the same schedule as the divorce agreement to avoid consternation (one of those great words I learned from my lawyer) with her mother.

One exception to the alternating was the kids always had Christmas day with me and Christmas eve with their mother. (This was Moms request so they could go to mass on Xmas eve, and I decided this was a fine arrangement as well).