That said, I'm confused on your response...it seems most folks on here say the AP/OM is often completely different than their spouses because they're fleeing what they think is the issue and getting as far away for it as possible (even if it's a fantasy). That's my case - both OM1/OM2 are very different than me. Your thoughts here seem to be the opposite, unless I'm missing something.
Yes, they typically "affair down". The person they go after is usually someone lower on the scale than the LBS. Lousy job or no job, not attractive, lazy, dresses terribly. But what have they been lacking? ATTENTION, and if they affair down they find someone who readily lavishes attention on them because they're so happy to have someone out of their league. So they are jumping into a new relationship with someone who is not their usual "type", and as such the relationships typically don't last long. Once past the limerence phase they're back to looking for their "type" again. And there's that LBS, who has gotten their sh** together, is looking good, out there enjoying life, independent, dressing snappy, has lots of friends.... this is kind of the gist of DBing.
