It's crazy how many of us on this board and IRL end up being in court or having the D finalized or being served, etc., on anniversaries and birthdays. I had one particularly bad court appearance on my 20th wedding anniversary this year, and it took all my will power not to refer to it during the proceedings, esp since I am pro se and can say way more than I could when I had a L (who could say a lot and was too scared of the judge to say much of anything). I don't think the MLCers are doing it on purpose, but I definitely think it's not an accident. I think somehow it's like a way to really kill the thing they think is causing their pain.

My H also wouldn't change his address. I think he thought this would allow him to pretend he still had the right to move back in (for money reasons, not for marriage reasons, though who knows how their addled brain pathways work). And I kept asking him or his L to change it until I realized that it allowed me to learn things I might need to know -- e.g., when he started getting fines for collecting unemployment when he was employed. But it was much more peaceful once I submitted a change of address form myself, not only not to see his name anymore but because he was constantly calling my D11 (9 or 10 at the time) to find out where various things had gone -- e.g., his new credit card, license, etc., and then telling poor D things like -- I'm so mad at Mama! She is hiding my things!

After a while it hurts less. (((CanB)))))

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.